The Birth Plan: Why I Prefer to Call It Birth Wishes!
At around 30 weeks of pregnancy, you’ll likely be asked to write a birth plan. A birth plan? Hmm, that might raise some eyebrows. After all, a birth can’t truly be planned, can it?
Exactly. That’s why I prefer to call it birth wishes instead.
My Birth Wishes
When we talk about giving birth, we often talk about letting go and going with the flow. At the same time, there’s mention of planning… But how?
It’s true: you can’t plan a birth. We can all agree on that. However, just because you can’t plan it doesn’t mean you can’t prepare yourself and have wishes for how you’d like it to go.
It helps you prepare mentally and emotionally.
Thinking through your wishes allows you to actively prepare for the birth.
You communicate what’s important to you.
Sharing your ideas and preferences with your midwife or obstetrician helps them understand your priorities. This is also a great time to gauge their thoughts and approaches, as discussing your wishes during labor can be much harder.
It involves your partner in the process.
Birth wishes give your partner an opportunity to understand your preferences and support you during labor.
It’s a helpful reference in the moment.
If you’re unable to express your wishes clearly during labor, your care team can refer to your plan to ensure your needs are respected.
You may be wondering: What goes into a birth wishes list?
The truth is, your list can be as detailed or as simple as you like. It’s best to create it after you’ve done some research or taken a prenatal course to understand your options.
While there are plenty of sample plans online, it’s most important that your birth wishes reflect your unique preferences. Nothing is too “out there”—it’s your birth, and it’s all about what matters to you.
Things to Consider for Your Birth Wishes
Here are some questions to get you started:
Where do you want to give birth?
At a birthing center, in a hospital, or at home?
Who do you want present during the birth?
Would you allow interns or medical students at your bedside?
What kind of atmosphere do you want?
Think about lighting, music, temperature, scents, and overall ambiance.
Would you like to use specific tools?
A birthing stool, birthing pool, or birthing ball?
Do you want pain relief? If so, what kind?
Consider the options available both at home and in the hospital.
How do you feel about medical interventions?
Think about procedures like cervical checks, episiotomies, inductions, or C-sections. In what circumstances would you consider these acceptable?
Would you like to catch your baby yourself?
Or would you like someone else to assist?
Who should cut the umbilical cord?
Would you like to delay cord clamping until the cord stops pulsating?
What are your preferences for a cesarean birth?
What should happen with the placenta?
Would you like to see it or keep it?
Do you plan to breastfeed?
Are photos or videos allowed during the birth?
If so, what’s okay to film? Do you prefer only shots from above, or is everything fair game?
What have you learned from previous births?
What would you like to do differently this time?
What else is important to you?
As you can see, there’s a lot to think about when it comes to your birth. Take the time to research, attend a prenatal course, and most importantly, listen to your instincts and desires.
This is your birth—a moment you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Why not make it as close to your wishes as possible?
